Thursday, September 19, 2013

An Open Letter to Our Grandchildren

I wanted to clear up a few misconceptions the three of you have about your grandmother and I.  We are not in fact, older than dirt.  Dirt was invented in the 1920’s, almost thirty years before we were born.  Many years ago we too knew everything, just like you do today.  But over the years they kept changing things, and now we’re not sure about much.  But we have you to set us straight.

Your Mom used to know everything, too.  Even her everything was different from yours though.  Video games were invented when she was a kid; video itself wasn’t invented until grandma and I were fully grown.  Shortly before your Mom was born, sex was invented.  Up until then, nobody was sure where babies came from or even about where to put what.  Drinking and drugs didn’t exist back then except for the same drinking and same drugs that are popular today for the most part. Nor was there any peer pressure to do stupid crap.  We did our own stupid crap and strangely enough, it was a lot like your stupid crap.

Our Moms were all mean, so grandma had no choice but to be mean too.  One of you will be a mean mom someday unless you skip the kids thing.  By definition then, your Mom too…

When you’re all grown up and Mom and Dad finally let you be yourself, say around 35 or 40 years old, you’ll be able to see how all of it fits together, since you’ll already be on the road to not so sure anymore.  Our most important hope for you, just like your parents’, is for you to turn out right.  We want you to be a good person who tries their best and cares about others.  Nothing else is critically important, except maybe rich and good-looking.

So my advice to you is to do what we did and what your mother did.  Make mostly good choices, learn from your mistakes, and try not to get caught.

We Love You.

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